Time Flies Either Way

I woke up at 3 am on June 1st, 2019 and I noticed it's been a year since I took the Time out to write.

And when I read my older posts, I realized that there was so much pain and grief that I almost wonder now, How the hell did I make it through that?

Someone, whom I have never spoken to in real life, messaged me on Instagram, asking me why I stopped writing.

And...and I had no reason. I was so busy learning to be kind to myself and shedding the dependence I had built on other people that I forgot I had a platform where people looked forward to reading my writing

Note-to-self-#1: There is no shame in being afraid
Hell we are all afraid
What you've got to do is figure out what you're afraid of.
Because when you put a face on it, you can beat it.
Or better yet you can use it. 

New beginning’s almost here, and so are many tough goodbye's. I have grown so much as a person and I cannot wait to get back to sharing as much as I can on my blog. It feels amazing to be able to do this for myself because a year later today when I read everything, I was glad I documented all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. It helps to look at how far you have come when you are worried about how far you have left to go.

Note-to-self-#2: Do not let your fire go out, 
spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of 
the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. 
Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. 
The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real... it is possible. 
It's yours. 

To start off my first post in 2019, I am going to take the time to list out a few things that I'll be doing (and have been doing) more as a part of self-love and acceptance:

1) I plan to focus on my writing and get back to my reading. I have missed having the time to read literature apart from academic readings. I hope I can plan my reading more effectively now. And now that I am not in a remote village in Uttar Pradesh but in the Capital, I hope to be able to visit more bookstores and book sales (suggestions are welcome) and spend more time with people who share this passion.

2) I plan to maintain and probably do more with my body in terms of physical fitness and mental health. I am going to get back in connection with the ISHA foundation and meditate a lot more than I have been able to.

I have recently received a lot of flack from an acquaintance about her misjudgment of me supporting unhealthy lifestyle vs body shaming, the latter was what I was going for, but as it turns out, not everyone brings up things for healthy discussions that are NOT fuelled by savior-complex.

I shall be writing about this soon.

(Personally, I have felt the difference and opinions on yoga/meditation are subjective, hence, I do not entertain debates).

3) I plan to Love and invest in relationships, but not drain myself to fulfill the need for companionship or social acceptance. I am not half of a whole, Nobody is. We are all complete without the need for a "better half" to complete us. Life is not about finding your other half, its a lot more about finding the companionship that resonates with your energy along the way as you grow through what you go through.

It took me a lot of time and consistency to reach this foundation mentally, and I have never been more sorted with my decisions.
I am not saying that I definitely know what I want, But I am confident about coming to terms with what I do not want.

"There is a tide in the affairs of men.

Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

On such a full sea are we now afloat,

And we must take the current when it serves,

Or lose our ventures."

~William Shakespeare